Ok people, can we take a moment to talk about Facebook again? Just for a second?
Since I don't hear any sirens or cops coming my way, I'm going to go full steam ahead.
So we all know those people who are on Facebook constantly through their phone, updating their status or checking other "friends" status'. Some of them keep it to themselves, you know, go through the motions and don't bother anyone around them with silly details. Then, there are those people who are so absorbed in their online social life that they have to let everyone around them know what they just posted or what someone else just posted. I even met a kid once who social networked with us while we were in the room. He sat there, and told us he was going to comment on something that another person put, and then he would do it. WHAT?! My brain really doesn't comprehend.
But I digress, let's get back to those people who talk about it ALL the time.
I once had the awkward situation of having a friend come up to me and say, "This (some large number over 30) many people liked my status today!" I simply stood there, looked at them, and replied with, "Cool..." Well, you might have thought that I had chucked that person's baby out the window by the look that he gave me.
So let's talk about this baby that I threw out said window. Let me explain friend, why I don't like your baby. See, your baby isn't a real live, talking, walking, burping, cute baby--your baby is a fake plastic baby that spits up fake vomit and has a crackly voice-box that repeats strange noises over and over.
You carry this baby around with you everywhere you go and expect everyone else to be just as excited as you are when you ask them if they want to hold it. You run around campus, waving your baby proudly for all to see, shoving it in student's faces waiting for them to praise it as you do. "Would you like to hold my child?!" you ask an innocent bystander who unknowingly steps into your trap. At first, they think that it might be a cute, adorable, cooing baby, but when it's placed in their arms, they realize they're holding something of no worth and the look is shown on their face. Of course, you're convinced that this child is a living, breathing thing that will die without you and you snatch up your child from the strangers confused face and walk away in a huff. They just won't ever understand, you think to yourself. They're just idiots to not realize how adorable this baby is, how ALIVE it is! Idiots, all of them.
So when you ask me to hold your fake baby doll, I might look confused for a second, but then I'll promptly send that thing out the nearest window. You'll scream and cry, "Oh sweet pear!", but I know that I've done something good for you and the sake of all mankind. Fake babies aren't fun to play with, talk to, or talk about. You shouldn't bring them up in normal conversation, or bring them to a social gathering. Those of us who are concerned with REAL life and the world that is going on around us right now don't need to be reminded of how you reinforce your self-esteem by how many people "like" your baby. If I see your baby once and I like it, I'll just tell you.*
Usually though, I'll just look at your made in china baby, look at you, look back at your made in china baby, take the baby, slap you with it, and throw you both out the window. Because no one should be obsessed with something not in the real world**.
But that's just me. I obviously get really annoyed by this occurrence, but what do you think? Am I overreacting just a bit or am I justified? Is it just my sincere hate for Facebook? Either way, I'll slap you and your ugly baby back to when your baby wasn't even born.
Rant over.
Quick School News: I am definitely taking 20 credits next semester, I have to get into math 1050 STAT, I still have an English paper, I got a 71% on my Accounting test, and the library is empty.
Life News: I need food, I've eaten way too much junk lately (more than humanly possible), and I've started listening to a ton of Bilie Holiday and Louis Armstrong. This is so much better than homework *raw raw raw!*
*Not to mention, if you base your self-esteem and worth off of how many people "like" things you post, you really should get a new outlet and look your life over.
**I am ONLY referring to Facebook posting when I say not obsessed with things not in the real world. I'm a twitter, tumblr, youtube, and blog fan. None of those things are tangible, but I don't go around waving them in everyone's face. I'll only bring them up when relevant.
Update: Can I also mention strangers adding you on Facebook. Not strangers as in "I only met them once," I mean strangers that YOU HAVE NEVER MET, EVER. It's been happening more recently and I just don't understand. Come on people, use your brain.
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