The time has come again this year that a large population of the world participates in the practice that is Lent. In a quick summary: Lent is a period of 40 days that begins on Ash Wednesday where one is to give up something whether it be a physical thing or a practice.* I honestly didn't know that much about Lent so I Googled it and came up with a nice history on this website.
"But wait," you say, "you aren't Catholic." Yes, I'm aware of the fact that I'm not practicing the religion that normally practices Lent, but it doesn't mean I cannot participate. In my opinion, it is good for every person to practice some self-control and also to see what we can live without since we live in a world of excess. Generally, it's something that anyone can do if they think it will benefit them.
This will be the first time that I've ever attempted a 40 day fast from anything and I really am excited to see what I can accomplish or discover about myself.
What is it that I'm going to give up you ask? This may not be a problem for some people, but seeing as how I grew up in a generation where my head is basically Siamese with a computer, I decided to give up social-networks. I'll be honest, I spend large chunks of time browsing the web and lol'ing at witty memes (I hope none of that made any sense), so now I need to find a better way to use this time. What I'm hoping for is that I'll use it for homework, studying, and exercising.
Unfortunately, this blog counts as a social network so it's going to have to hibernate with the others while I distance myself from the interweb and step into some sunlight (ahhhh, it burns!). Instead of writing down stories/thoughts about Lent and other things here, I'll be writing them down on my lappy or in my notebook, and later (using the magic copy/paste button) to put them on here. One thing I'll be diligent about is not trying to find loopholes. This is all or nothing guys.**
See you all in 40 days (not counting Sundays).
*This isn't all Lent is about, but it's one of the main things. There's a lot of fasting and special days. Go read up if you'd really like to know.
**I'm still going to be using e-mail since it's a necessity currently and it really isn't a social network anyways. Also, the internet isn't off limits, just things like Twitter, Tumblr, Facebook, etc.
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Saturday, February 11, 2012
Disregarding Dilemmas and Things I'll Never Understand
I've gotten to a point where there are a lot of things in my life that take some serious thinking time *(*Ryan sitting on his bed hitting himself with his fist saying, "Think, think, think!"*)
Am I going to do that? Nope, I'm going to take the typical person way out and ignore it until my problems manifest themselves as ulcers in my stomach.
What is Ryan going to do then? He's going to write about things that amuse/confuse him while eating cookie dough ice cream from the container, neglecting to shower, and talking to a cat.
What's that cat? You think I should keep eating the ice cream? I agree. Oh, you think I should get a spoon? No, it's not disgusting, I'm just being resourceful.
Who knew cats were so judgmental.
But to the main topic:
**THINGS RYAN WILL NOT UNDERSTAND FOR THE LIFE OF HIM
1.Those strange headbands girls wear that aren't hats but are normal headbands with a gland problem:
Doesn't she look so serene? I actually have no clue who this is as I pulled it from a Google image search (as I will with all the pictures I use here today) but it was basically the perfect example of what I mean. I'd have to say, I mostly don't understand this "accessory" because I don't like how they look.
More often than not, they are large, bulky, and give the wearer the appearance of an enlarged cranium. Is that what you want people to think, that you have head cancer? It's a headband...but it's not a hat. Please girls in Utah, stop this atrocity in the name of cold heads everywhere.
2.Sagging Yo' Pants
I know that this makes me sound as if I'm a crotchety old man waving his cane at the youngsters running across his lawn with their saggy butts, but I am. The only thing I can think of when I see unfortunate human beings such as these (this being an extreme example), is what will happen if they have to run? What if the popo comes a chasin' and their low riding trousers are their ultimate demise? Or the rocky theme song/chariots of fire comes on and the natural instinct to run possesses them? THEY'RE DOOMED.
I have seen this in mild cases around my campus and a person's underwear color is really just information that people should only ask for and is not usually a type of public art show. If you're dying to know my underwear color, I'll be happy to tell you. It's usually blue.
3. Chin Beards
Oh chortle chortle, look what I found, a joke to illustrate what I'm talking about. First off let me say I am not against people who lack a jaw-line or a chin. What I am against and do not understand is the use of a beard to create that illusion. If you could scroll down...
Here we have an example of the male chin beard. Lacking some bone structure, our adult male has taken his face hair and shaved and trimmed it into a line that will seemingly trick his coworkers. Let me tell you, Marsha in accounting didn't fall for it and neither am I.
I would just rather guys rock their head than grow abnormal facial hair. If I tried this I honestly wouldn't know where to stop and start in the shaving process. I'd end up with a line down part of my neck and then back up to my chin. I can see it now...sexy. If only I could actually grow normal facial hair. *sigh*
4.Old Woman/Man Water Aerobics
Can I first just say...her face...bless her. That is all.
Props to old people trying to keep their heart pumping so they have the strength to pull that 1929 caramel out of their pocket (it's been in there since 1959) and give it to you.
A handful of quizzical looks from me if you are a group of (usually) women who gather together with their foam dumbbells in the strange ritual that is water aerobics. From what I can tell, there is a lot of bobbing going on while the women chat along to 80's disco and slowly pump their dumbbells through the water making a quiet *swishing* noise. ***Typical conversation may include:
"Oh Barbara, did you see that last episode of Days of Our Lives?" *bob bob*
"Why yes I did Betty! Can you believe that Reginald's half sister was actually Robert's lover's ex-wife's fiance...'s twin?" *bob bob*
"It was such a twist, I had to call life-alert twice just to make sure I was still breathing!" *bob bob*
"Barbara you're such a kidder! Did you know who I saw at the market? Joan. She put pink tennis balls on her walker and was talking a mighty lot to the butcher." *bob bob*
"Well you know she always tries to get discounts from him that way, especially after Gerald ran off to join the circus." *bob bob*
"Right? That Joan--didn't even pitch in to make anything for the senior bake sale this year!" *bob bob*
"...Whore...and I wasn't kidding about the life-alert."
5.Farmville
I think that's all I need to say about that.
I you have anything that you don't understand, feel free to tell me since everyone has different opinions and, quoting a very hilarious 27bslash6.com,
"Opinions are like nipples, everybody has one. Some have firm points, others are barely discernible through layers, and some are displayed at every opportunity regardless of whether the audience has stated "I am interested in your nipples" or not.
What's that cat? You think I should stop licking the inside of the carton for the remains of the ice cream? That's just silly cat, this is the best part because then if I get the munchies later, I can just lick my face. You can too if you'd like. Ah, see that got your attention.
I always tell people if I'm not heard from for a week or two to just find my body before the cats start eating it...not a joke.
*I'm not serious about that part, I just enjoy Winnie the Pooh.
**This list contains things that I and just me, don't understand--not things that should society now must abide to by law. You can agree or disagree, this is all solely personal opinion so don't get your panties all in a bunch.
***If this doesn't secure my place in hell, I don't know what will. I enjoy my sense of humor at least.
Am I going to do that? Nope, I'm going to take the typical person way out and ignore it until my problems manifest themselves as ulcers in my stomach.
What is Ryan going to do then? He's going to write about things that amuse/confuse him while eating cookie dough ice cream from the container, neglecting to shower, and talking to a cat.
What's that cat? You think I should keep eating the ice cream? I agree. Oh, you think I should get a spoon? No, it's not disgusting, I'm just being resourceful.
Who knew cats were so judgmental.
But to the main topic:
**THINGS RYAN WILL NOT UNDERSTAND FOR THE LIFE OF HIM
1.Those strange headbands girls wear that aren't hats but are normal headbands with a gland problem:
Doesn't she look so serene? I actually have no clue who this is as I pulled it from a Google image search (as I will with all the pictures I use here today) but it was basically the perfect example of what I mean. I'd have to say, I mostly don't understand this "accessory" because I don't like how they look.
More often than not, they are large, bulky, and give the wearer the appearance of an enlarged cranium. Is that what you want people to think, that you have head cancer? It's a headband...but it's not a hat. Please girls in Utah, stop this atrocity in the name of cold heads everywhere.
2.Sagging Yo' Pants
I know that this makes me sound as if I'm a crotchety old man waving his cane at the youngsters running across his lawn with their saggy butts, but I am. The only thing I can think of when I see unfortunate human beings such as these (this being an extreme example), is what will happen if they have to run? What if the popo comes a chasin' and their low riding trousers are their ultimate demise? Or the rocky theme song/chariots of fire comes on and the natural instinct to run possesses them? THEY'RE DOOMED.
I have seen this in mild cases around my campus and a person's underwear color is really just information that people should only ask for and is not usually a type of public art show. If you're dying to know my underwear color, I'll be happy to tell you. It's usually blue.
3. Chin Beards
Oh chortle chortle, look what I found, a joke to illustrate what I'm talking about. First off let me say I am not against people who lack a jaw-line or a chin. What I am against and do not understand is the use of a beard to create that illusion. If you could scroll down...
Here we have an example of the male chin beard. Lacking some bone structure, our adult male has taken his face hair and shaved and trimmed it into a line that will seemingly trick his coworkers. Let me tell you, Marsha in accounting didn't fall for it and neither am I.
I would just rather guys rock their head than grow abnormal facial hair. If I tried this I honestly wouldn't know where to stop and start in the shaving process. I'd end up with a line down part of my neck and then back up to my chin. I can see it now...sexy. If only I could actually grow normal facial hair. *sigh*
4.Old Woman/Man Water Aerobics
Props to old people trying to keep their heart pumping so they have the strength to pull that 1929 caramel out of their pocket (it's been in there since 1959) and give it to you.
A handful of quizzical looks from me if you are a group of (usually) women who gather together with their foam dumbbells in the strange ritual that is water aerobics. From what I can tell, there is a lot of bobbing going on while the women chat along to 80's disco and slowly pump their dumbbells through the water making a quiet *swishing* noise. ***Typical conversation may include:
"Oh Barbara, did you see that last episode of Days of Our Lives?" *bob bob*
"Why yes I did Betty! Can you believe that Reginald's half sister was actually Robert's lover's ex-wife's fiance...'s twin?" *bob bob*
"It was such a twist, I had to call life-alert twice just to make sure I was still breathing!" *bob bob*
"Barbara you're such a kidder! Did you know who I saw at the market? Joan. She put pink tennis balls on her walker and was talking a mighty lot to the butcher." *bob bob*
"Well you know she always tries to get discounts from him that way, especially after Gerald ran off to join the circus." *bob bob*
"Right? That Joan--didn't even pitch in to make anything for the senior bake sale this year!" *bob bob*
"...Whore...and I wasn't kidding about the life-alert."
5.Farmville
I think that's all I need to say about that.
I you have anything that you don't understand, feel free to tell me since everyone has different opinions and, quoting a very hilarious 27bslash6.com,
"Opinions are like nipples, everybody has one. Some have firm points, others are barely discernible through layers, and some are displayed at every opportunity regardless of whether the audience has stated "I am interested in your nipples" or not.
What's that cat? You think I should stop licking the inside of the carton for the remains of the ice cream? That's just silly cat, this is the best part because then if I get the munchies later, I can just lick my face. You can too if you'd like. Ah, see that got your attention.
I always tell people if I'm not heard from for a week or two to just find my body before the cats start eating it...not a joke.
*I'm not serious about that part, I just enjoy Winnie the Pooh.
**This list contains things that I and just me, don't understand--not things that should society now must abide to by law. You can agree or disagree, this is all solely personal opinion so don't get your panties all in a bunch.
***If this doesn't secure my place in hell, I don't know what will. I enjoy my sense of humor at least.
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
An Education on Words
Due to requirements at the University I'm attending, I have to take a class called "University 1000." From what I've gathered from attending, the class is to teach us learning methods we can use in our lives and also basically how to normally function in society. I've decided to rename it to, "How To Not Be A Social Idiot and Other Things Most People Already Know Due to Common Sense...1000."
I bet you guys can see my take on the class.
So today, we all met in a single room to discuss the fine subject of words. More importantly, how to dissect a word of which we didn't know the definition and come up with a good guess to a definition. Not a terrible thing since there are a lot of words I don't know and sometimes practicing this helps.
An example: Bibliophile. Biblio: Books. Phile: Lover of. Thus, bibliophile wold be a lover of books. Such a beautiful relationship that probably isn't sanctioned by the state of Utah.
We then went through a list of words and circled those we knew and then buddied up with those around us to try and dissect and connect a meaning to the unknown words. Well, seeing as how the girl sitting 5 inches to my right took about .5 seconds to decide she would run to the girl 2 feet away, I was forced to ask if I could become class friends with the two giggling girls to my left. I'll name them green and ginger since one was wearing a green shirt and the other was a ginger. First mistake: attending class at all.
"Bibliophile..." said Ginger thoughtfully.
"Oh, someone who loves the bible!" said Green.
"Well isn't biblio books? So maybe a lover of books," I said
"I guess that makes sense," said Ginger "so essentric...essenteric?"
"Eccentric," I said.
"Oh, what's that?" said Green.
"Well it's like essential...so something like that," Said Ginger
"I thought essential was spelled with an s," I said.
*Ginger writes down essential*
"Yeah, he's right, it's an s, " Ginger laughs "So what now?"
"Well an eccentric is kind of like someone who is crazy about something, you know?" I suggest
*Green writes down crazy underneath eccentric*
"OK, pasedonym...." tries Green.
"Pseudonym," I say, hoping my brain doesn't explode.
Green sits and thinks a bit, "Isn't that a type of fighting?" She laughs.
I put my head down on the table...and that's how I died.
This continued on for many more words until class ended and only instilled in me great sadness. I often worry about what the public school system in Utah churns out each year since sometimes it lacks in a proper education so we'll see how I survive this class.
-Harold "hopefully maintains sanity and doesn't kill anyone while using a pseudoym" Parshegan.
aka Ryan
I bet you guys can see my take on the class.
So today, we all met in a single room to discuss the fine subject of words. More importantly, how to dissect a word of which we didn't know the definition and come up with a good guess to a definition. Not a terrible thing since there are a lot of words I don't know and sometimes practicing this helps.
An example: Bibliophile. Biblio: Books. Phile: Lover of. Thus, bibliophile wold be a lover of books. Such a beautiful relationship that probably isn't sanctioned by the state of Utah.
We then went through a list of words and circled those we knew and then buddied up with those around us to try and dissect and connect a meaning to the unknown words. Well, seeing as how the girl sitting 5 inches to my right took about .5 seconds to decide she would run to the girl 2 feet away, I was forced to ask if I could become class friends with the two giggling girls to my left. I'll name them green and ginger since one was wearing a green shirt and the other was a ginger. First mistake: attending class at all.
"Bibliophile..." said Ginger thoughtfully.
"Oh, someone who loves the bible!" said Green.
"Well isn't biblio books? So maybe a lover of books," I said
"I guess that makes sense," said Ginger "so essentric...essenteric?"
"Eccentric," I said.
"Oh, what's that?" said Green.
"Well it's like essential...so something like that," Said Ginger
"I thought essential was spelled with an s," I said.
*Ginger writes down essential*
"Yeah, he's right, it's an s, " Ginger laughs "So what now?"
"Well an eccentric is kind of like someone who is crazy about something, you know?" I suggest
*Green writes down crazy underneath eccentric*
"OK, pasedonym...." tries Green.
"Pseudonym," I say, hoping my brain doesn't explode.
Green sits and thinks a bit, "Isn't that a type of fighting?" She laughs.
I put my head down on the table...and that's how I died.
This continued on for many more words until class ended and only instilled in me great sadness. I often worry about what the public school system in Utah churns out each year since sometimes it lacks in a proper education so we'll see how I survive this class.
-Harold "hopefully maintains sanity and doesn't kill anyone while using a pseudoym" Parshegan.
aka Ryan
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)