Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Well, I'm Not Dead Yet: Part 3

Hey Ryan, I'm getting really sick of reading your story, when are you going to write something not pre-written?

 Really?  Well that's too bad and probably not for a little while.  I'll be honest and say that currently I'm a little stressed from over-reflecting on my mind (a rather scary place similar to Mordor/Dante's Inferno/7th level of hell) so at least I'm giving you something.

 The least I can say is it proves that I'm not just wasting away on my couch watching Star Trek and spooning peanut butter from the jar.  I'm doing all that WITH my laptop typing this.  Eventually I'll go to the store as well, NOT in sweatpants.  Wow Ryan, you're setting such high goals for yourself.  I know guys, next thing you know I'll be curing cancer/saving whales/learning to longboard.

Ugh, that all made my fingers exhausted.  If only I can reach ctrl+v....

Part 3:

Chapter 7: Coming to Terms with Coming Out
            Not that my sexuality is a secret by now, but why wouldn’t I want to explain how it happened?

            Picture this, a green Subaru speeding along a freeway with two passengers.  It’s probably about 5 o’clock and the sky is slowly starting to turn orange.  One passenger is severely stressed.

            Yes, that passenger is me.  You see, a couple days prior I had agreed with my friends Sara and Austin that I’d tell my mother I was gay while we traveled to Cedar City.  The thoughts that entered my mind were something like these:

·         We’re going to crash when I tell her, she’ll swerve the car and we’re going to die
·         I think I’m going to pee my pants
·         Shit, then I’m going to be stuck in the car in awkward silence, I know it
·         I could always just open the door and roll out, that’s a better alternative
·         What if I just stayed quiet, she’ll figure it out eventually
·         We’re going to crash, I know it
·         Death, I’m dead, I’m dead.
·         She has to know, I played with My Little Pony’s
·         What’s the worst that could happen? Oh right, car crash.
·         Pull it together

Fortunately for me, I opened my big mouth and some words came out.  Namely three words that took about a half hour to say.

            “Mom…I’m gay…”



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