Sick

I've been sick for the past week. When things like this happen, I can never think back to a source because I always tell myself that I'm some sort of beacon of health. Then I remember instead of making real food for dinner, I substituted cereal. That before giving me a high five, a five year old Chinese student plucked his hand out of his nose. That the pollution in my city is often deemed "hazardous" to my health. Those kind of things.

While I've been sick, I've still been going to work because taking a few days off isn't a super big option for me. I mean, the children need to learn English, right? The first few days weren't terrible as I'd occasionally substitute a few words in a children's song with coughing and sniffling. But then came the body aching. If I had no need to move, this wouldn't have been a problem, but the children. Picking up, setting down, fending off their hugs. I sound like some sort of monster denying small Chinese children from hugging me, but it's actually rather terrifying. One kid runs up to embrace your leg and before you know it there are 25 pairs of little hands hanging off your pants pockets, pulling your shirt, and untying your shoelaces. It's like dropping a co-ed in a scary movie into a lake infested with piranhas: you know they're doomed.

I struggle and have even tried to say, "No hugging!" but that usually doesn't do me any good. Stop it children, stop loving me.

At one point, one of my student's parents noticed I my condition. "You know," he said, "you should drink some hot water." I've discovered that hot water is basically the remedy for any malady here in Asia. You're sick? Hot water. Back aches? Hot water. You lost your cat and you're apartment just went up in flames? Better get some hot water.

 With my first day off, I started to go to that place in my mind where everything is the extreme. What if this wasn't just some sort of flu-like illness? Yup, I definitely had to have Japanese-encephalitis and my brain was about to turn into jelly. Yes, I know you took certain vaccinations to prevent this, but the nurse said that it wasn't actually 100% effective, just more of a precautionary thing. What other Asian viruses could I have garnered here?

I stopped myself before going to WebMD which we all know causes mental instability as every symptom comes out to be something like:

-Oh, you have a headache? You must have a malignant brain tumor and you're going to be dead within the hour.

-You have a small dry patch on your elbow? Definitely leprosy.

-You cracked a nail? Better get the arm taken off.

Instead, I waited around for my brain to turn to jelly. The tissues piled up in the corner as I stopped caring to make them into the wastebasket and Netflix became my only companion. This was it, this was how my life was going to end. Listening to fireworks go off at 9 in the morning for no particular reason while episodes of 30 Rock played in the background--and me, slowly feeling my brain turn into chowder as I reach for another spoonful of cereal and take a sip of some hot water.

That, or I just have the flu.